What do old people complain about? Well I recently spoke with two distinguished gentlemen and here are some of the things in their everyday life they would like to change. They live in a condo (age 25+) with most of the residence being 70+. All of it seemed to be reasonable requests.

Rising of the sun should be changed to 3am as that is when any normal person should get up. Setting should be around 3:30pm, promptly after dinner.

Bridge should run from 10:30-11:30am, right after Lunch.

No phonographs to be played louder than a whisper, unless it needs to be cranked up to hear the music over the hiss of a badly scratched 78...

To ensure acceptable air quality, the cooking of foods with flavor or odor are strictly prohibited... with the exception of foods from the "Old Country", which must be cooked with doors wide open so as to promote the cooker's heritage.

Cooking can also be used to attract neighbors for mindless conversations that most of us don't remember we have had because of our Alzheimer’s.

Yeah! And also to attract neighbors for mindless conversations that most of us don't remember we have had because of our Alzheimer’s!

Any tenants under the age of 60 deemed to be "in a hurry", will be subject to a long, rambling story without a discernable ending. Failure to listen to said story will result in a feigned angina attack.

All vehicles parked in the garage will require being the following: Delta 88, Chrysler Intrepid, Crown Victoria, and Or Chevrolet Impala. All vehicles must be white and extremely clean at all times. 90% of the parking spaces should be designated as Handicapped Zones...

The trees around the property should be movable, to accommodate the need for shade in different areas at different times of day, or simply to satisfy an irrational whim.

No one is to own or operate a BBQ anywhere on the property. But every suite will have a wood burning fireplace. Fire should be enjoyed; it is not to cook with.

They are always looking for more suggestions. Feel free to submit any and they will be passed along.